Im gonna be 17 soon!

One year nalang and I can get arrested for shiz na! hahaha

I still love IX!!!! Thanks for the love you give until now! (Thanks to some of your parents even! Hahaha) Thanks for all the comments in the previous blogpost! Anyway...

I don't wanna have a birthday :( I don't wanna get older. It's not like... one year left til I can vote or stuff... It's more like one year off of my life. O_o... I just think it's too soon, life that is. I think there's too little time to you know... learn about stuff, fall in love, get divorced (hahaha... just kidding) and form a six-man olympic cycling team... *Sigh...

Anyway... I'm loving life... Forgot the past already... The four nightmare (minus the summers) years are beginning to wear away...

I wonder where I'm gonna be five years from now... where everyone's gonna be. Am I gonna be an engineer? Will I be in Singapore for university? Will I be in New Zealand fulfilling my lifelong dream of milking sheep? I don't know.

17 is a huge number. I'm probably gonna die in 60 years.. (I hope not!... :( 67 is kind of young pa... but I don't want to live on crutches... but looking at my knee now, I'm probably gonna have to start soon) I wasted 17 years of my life not doing something great. When I leave this earth, I want to leave something great behind. I want to write a book, cure AIDS, have a record deal and maybe own some llamas here and there. I want to change lives or at least touch them.

Grabe. I'm so delusional... Hahaha...

Living in an un-utopian society....... sucks

Thanks to Binkee, Erica, Karol, Lui, Ena, Elva, Panjee, Gil, Chrym, Lugaw, Bana, Wilda, Ayena, Di, Claudz, Karen, Abby, Alex, Mars, Katgar, Renee...

And to all the people who said those comforting words to me today.

Nothing's gonna change but it's very reassuring to hear what you've been telling me and the events following what happened. I am so thankful to everyone for believing in me, for actually making me feel what you guys think should be. Thank you to this batch. No matter how scarred and bruised my heart (and my knee) is coz of years of hardwork, loyalty and service, my hands and my feet will always be willing to give you guys the help you need. And even though I keep on saying this batch makes me feel the heat of hell on earth, I would never trade anyone else for you guys!

I always thought that I needed people to thank me for what I've done, but now I realized that I don't actually need to hear those words. What you guys did or said today made my whole high school life complete.

Thank you for listening, respecting and going through the motions with me. I will never forget you all. The outpour of concern and warmth you guys showed me is just overwhelming. I've spent too much blood, sweat and tears since freshman year and it's nice to see people actually acknowledge what I've been doing. I love you all! (Okay, maybe not all... Haha... kidding... ILY IX!) What's done is done.

As for my emotional state... avril just summed it all up for me

I wanna believe you when you tell me that it'll be okay. I try to believe you, but I don't. When you say that it's gonna be, it always turns out to be a different way. I try to believe you, but not today. I don't know how I feel. Tomorrow is a different day. Give me a little time. Leave me alone a little while. I gotta do what I have to do...

Anyway. Thank you IX. Love you guys!

In five years, whatever happened in high school is not gonna count.

*And in five years I'm gonna be an engineer! Hahaha... Guess what my school is!

**Wow. That was very anticlimactic.